Advice from the Geek Goddess - Dating and Relationship Tips January 2006
Dear Geek Goddess:
I don't have money or a job. How do I get my matches for free?
Well, besides the fact that it costs a lot to build and maintain a web site, one of the reasons that sites such as Geek 2 Geek charge money to get matches is because some people don't really want someone who's unemployed to solicit them for a date that they're expected to pay for and ultimately end up sleeping on their couch all day. Maybe you should start hanging out in the library or a church. I hear they have nice people there and they don't charge admission. Or maybe check out your local museum on free day. I'm guessing, though, if you have no money or job you're not going to seem like a very desirable prospect. Maybe that's what you truly need to work on, and then once you have a job you can meet some new people in the workplace and take them out with your first paycheck.
Dear Geek Goddess,
If I meet a girl nerd at a convention, what's the best way to approach her, and start a conversation?
Really, you could apply this situation just about anywhere, such as a bar, a coffee shop, a mall, etc. But you do have an advantage at a convention unlike any of these other scenarios – you know that this girl nerd has something in common with you. Unless, of course, you're one of those deranged psychos who likes to pick up women at conventions. But I'm guessing not, since you seem to not want to scare the girl off, where a deranged psycho probably wouldn't care. Think of it this way, if you don't talk to the girl then, you might never see her again and miss out on a possible perfect match. You have a great conversation topic; you both chose the same convention! You could ask if she's been to other conventions that you have or whether she's attending any future ones that you might be interested in. Ask her if she's checked out a booth you found really interesting. If it's a costume oriented convention, comment that you dig her threads. Starting a conversation is hard but once you get in there, look for clues about what to say next, don't try and plan out the conversation, just let it happen!
Dear Geek Goddess,
Hopefully this is a simple question, but are there some areas of the country where geeks - I'm a programmer and have been called a geek several times so I guess that makes me one - have it harder in general due to the area in meeting other geeks? Right now I am living in San Antonio and a quick search on the site shows that within 100 miles there are only 15 females registered on the site and a good number of them are significantly older than myself. Any advice is appreciated!
Looks like we need to get some press in San Antonio! I suspect anyone living outside of a major metropolitan area would have a hard time finding a geek match. Geeks tend to go where there's technology and jobs. My advice to you is to expand your horizons. Who says that the best girl for you lives in San Antonio? Maybe you should consider that a long distance relationship might not be the worst thing in the world.
Dear Geek Goddess,
Do I need to live in the USA to meet a lovely geek princess? My dreaming is
of A heaven.
Of course not! Unfortunately our site is only for the USA right now, but will be worldwide soon.
Dear Geek Goddess,
I'm 23. My girl friend just broke up with me a month ago after we'd been together for 4 years. I've been dragging my butt around ever since, completely bummed out. How can I get over this funk? Thanks.
Go out. Be with friends. Have fun. Realize that life exists outside of a long term relationship that didn't really go anywhere. You're 23, life is different than it was when you were 19. Remember how great it was at the beginning of your last relationship and realize you have that sweet initial tidings of romance to look forward to all over again. Don't dwell in the past, look toward the future, and I guarantee, it will be slow going and frustrating, but in the end you'll find something better.
Dear Geek Goddess,
I am one of those nerdy computer geeks now in his 30s who couldn't get a date with a woman to save his life during his 20s.
I focused on increasing my assets and home ownership. Now in my 30s I turn around to find a woman my age is typically divorced for no other reason than she was unhappy in her previous marriage. She usually has children in tow from the marriage or is single with children in tow from her handsome thug boyfriend she had in her 20s. To top that off, these gals are now looking at the guy who has a good paying job and home to help raise her little darlings, send them off to college, etc., etc. Forget it.
I will stay in America for job-purposes only. For a wife and children, I am planning on leaving and moving to East Asia or Eastern Europe.
Do you really think that women in East Asia and Eastern Europe will be looking for a man for different reasons? As far as I can tell, most mail-order brides (which typically come from the areas you mentioned) are looking for security. Many of them have children from previous marriages or boyfriends, so how does this make them any different from the American women that you seem to deal with? Perhaps you should stop looking for a woman your age and see if a woman who is in her mid to late twenties is more your style. Sure, it may seem that she is too young for you, but perhaps you missed out on women of that age since you said you couldn't get a date in your twenties. You have great assets and you own a home, and there are women in their twenties who have never been married and have no children who are fed up with men their age who only want to go drinking and partying. So before you give up on women in the USA, try and expand your search a bit include the women who might have scoffed you when you were their age, but perhaps they only did that because they were looking for someone more mature.
Dear Geek Goddess,
My only problem is I'm an old geek, and no one seems to be looking for old geeks ...
Hmmmm. Seems like you’ve got the opposite problem of the guy who wrote the previous letter.. Why don’t you get the numbers of the women that he’s rejecting, provided you don’t mind a few kids and the babies’ daddy(ies) somewhere in the picture?
Please send your questions about dating and relationships to geekgoddess@gk2gk.com
Read past months' columns by the Geek Goddess
December, 2005
November, 2005
October, 2005
Copyright 2006 by Geek 2 Geek. May not be used in any way without permission and attribution.
